Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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