I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
