the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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