this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
