She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
They have beer where we have blood.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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