girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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