its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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