so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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