you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
