Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize