fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
