Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
