So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
