Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He felt like a one man threesome
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
