She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
