No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Randomize
