im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm getting married
To pizza
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
