So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
