it's not cheating when I paid for it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
