I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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