I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
