Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
