and you said cock pushups were impossible
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
