I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
