sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
too bad you live with your parents still
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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