You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
