i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize