she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
