yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
never play flip cup with pint glasses
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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