Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I want her autograph on my taint
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
