I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
