STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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