Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
