It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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