Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
