id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My dick has a subreddit
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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