dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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