He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.