On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
