is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think my fart just growled at me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.