his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
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This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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