I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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