oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
