I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
