So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
