she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
