One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
