There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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