She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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