You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
