if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
please come you make the beer taste better
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
two words...techno handjob
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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