Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
