I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
