Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
