Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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