Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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