Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
