why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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