Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
