'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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