nut hugger
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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