when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
These tits shall not be calmed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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