she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted