I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
