Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
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when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
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Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.