I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge