Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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